Omegle
by edenie
Summary: Harry and Hermione talk over Omegle. Was actually written by me Harry and some random Hermione on omegle and is unchanged. Totally out of character story wise and is not my usual writting style. Basically i was bored. ENJOY!


**I do not own Harry Potter nor do i own **

**Have fun!!**

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**Connecting to server...**

**Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.**

**You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!**

**You:** Hermione?

**Stranger:** Ron?

**You:** No it's Harry!

**Stranger:** Oh, sorry. Wishful thinking.

**You:** Is Ron not with you?

**Stranger:** No, he's at a bar right now.

**You:** Oh.

**Stranger:** Drinking firewhiskey and flirting with other witches.

**You:** Have you two split up?

**Stranger:** No, not yet.

**You:** Don't, you two are perfect for each other

**Stranger:** How are things with Ginny?

**You:** We split up

**Stranger: **: o

**You:** She found my stash of 'Wizards with Wands'

**Stranger:** Oh Merlin!

**You:** That's what she said

**Stranger:** You and Dumbledore would've been perfect for each other.

**You:** Lol, too old.... I have found somebody though

**You:** He's perfect

**Stranger:** who?

**Stranger:** Draco?

**You:** How did you guess?!

**Stranger:** Well who else?

**Stranger:** I always knew you had feelings for the ferret!!

**You:** He has the most amazingly tight little ass.... from all the Quidditch I'd expect

**You:** You mean when we were at school you saw all the fighting for what it really was?

**Stranger:** You know, I slept with Draco in 7th year.

**You:** ........... WHAT?

**Stranger:** Is that a problem?

**You:** He told me he was gay?

**Stranger:** He's bi, sweetie.

**You:** What about Ron? How could you do that to him?

**Stranger:** I was getting revenge for fleur Delacour!

**You:** Oh... wait... fleur and Ron?

**Stranger:** He didn't tell you?

**You:** He doesn't tell me anything anymore... not since he found out about Draco…

**Stranger:** Yes, he's quite jealous of all the attention Draco is getting.

**You:** What do you mean?

**Stranger:** He calls him "pretty boy"

**You:** Oh really?

**Stranger:** Yes, a snobby little rich boy.

**You:** He's just jealous.

**Stranger:** Are you going to let him continue insulting your bf?

**You:** Absolutely not!

**Stranger:** You need to confront the weasel.

**You:** The little bastard

**Stranger:** Or maybe have a threesome with the weasel and the ferret.

**You:** I don't think I could cope with the ginger

**You:** He'd be wayyy to enthusiastic

**Stranger:** Then you'll have to play hard to get.

**You:** Ummm..... I'll give it a go

**You:** Actually.... how about me, you and Draco?

**Stranger:** I was going to suggest that, but do you mind sharing Draco?

**You:** For you Hermione, not at all. It is only one night anyway

**Stranger:** It's just that old feelings might start arising. Sex with me would probably turn a gay guy straight again you see.

**You:** Oh no worries there... Draco bottoms if you know what I mean, anyway, no offence of anything but he'd never settle down with a muggleborn

**Stranger: **: o! Why you little-

**You:** Calm down Mione!

**Stranger:** Why I oughta

**You:** Oughta what?

**Stranger:** *petrificus totalus*!

**You:** *expelliarmus*!!!!!

**You:** *wins* I'm off to find Draco.... I'll fire call you later, if you're still talking to me…

**Stranger:** Do you know what

**You:** What?

**Stranger:** You think you're so great just because you defeated the dark lord.

**You:** Well I AM the golden boy

**Stranger:** But you're just a precocious little brat

**Stranger:** Humph

**You:** Whatever Mione you're just a filthy mudblood.

**You:** I only killed Voldemort so I could rise as a greater dark lord.

**You:** Why do you think me and Draco are such a perfect match?

**Stranger:** *Densaugeo*!!

**You:** *AVADA KEDAVRA*!

**Stranger:** You can't use the unforgivable

**Stranger:** Cause you're WEAK

**You:** I already did. You're talking to me through the grave

**Stranger:** Draco belongs to me! I had sex with him first!

**Stranger:** wut

**Stranger:** wut

**You:** I slept with him in 3rd year! We were well above our years sexually! Suck on that Granger!!!

**Stranger:** LIAR!

**You:** Not at all :P

**Stranger:** You're wrong

**Stranger:** Cause Draco was still a girl in 3rd year

**Stranger:** Bet you didn't know that huh?

**You:** He still had parts

**You:** Anyway, you're dead. Stop talking to me.

**Stranger:** *avada kedavra*

**You:** Already done.

**Stranger:** w/e, I came back from the dead

**Stranger:** If you could do it, I'm sure anyone can

**You:** Cissa helped me.

**You:** Doesn't that tell you Draco and I are perfect?

**Stranger:** no, he's too good for you

**You:** Bye dead mudblood! Off to find mah loverrrrrr.

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Reviews???!!!!!


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